Is fun part of your normal-average-day vocabulary? Or is fun something you have to plan for, on a weekend, a special evening out, or on vacation?

More and more people seem to be subscribing to a misery loves company philosophy. The people I meet for happy hour all want to tell me why theyre unhappy instead of talking about their successes and the fun things in their lives. And the occasional positive thinker the one who always answers, Im doing great what a beautiful day it is! when asked how they are is talked about in hushed tones of mixed admiration and skepticism, as if theres something not quite normal going on.

Theres an old saying that what you focus on grows. It turns out that this is literally true. Neuroscience the study of the brain and nervous system tells us that our brains actually change when we focus our attention on something, growing new neural pathways (connections). So if you focus on how much you dislike your job, your brains connections grow around that thought, and shrink around any thoughts you might have about alternatives. Pretty soon, the physiology of your brain is built up just as lifting weights builds a muscle to support your gloom and frustration. Just as you wouldnt normally lift weights only with your left arm, leaving your right arm to waste away while your left builds disproportionate muscle, you dont want your brain to be strong in its negative pathways and weak in pathways around positive options and choices.

Of course, saying, Dont think negative thoughts! is a lot like saying, Dont think of a pink elephant. Our brains are very good at doing what theyre supposed to do think so when we try not to think of something, we naturally will. Youll notice, too, that this is another example of how what we focus on grows: giving attention to a negative makes it impossible to move away from it. Id add here that I do not advocate trying to ignore reality or pretend its something other than what it is. If you really do hate your job, worry about your finances, or fight with your teenager, thats real, and trying to pretend otherwise does not help any more than concentrating on your misery!

So what does all this have to do with fun? Simply put, I believe we all have a choice. Even in the middle of disliking a situation in our lives, we still have the option of enjoying ourselves anyway of having fun. Just because you dislike a circumstance youre in doesnt mean you are obligated to be miserable in order to prove how much you hate it. Another wonderful saying comes to mind: living well is the best ex-girlfriend revenge. Acknowledge that yes, you do dislike your job (or whatever your situation is) and then find a way, even if just for a few minutes each day, to have fun. Make a co-worker laugh. See if you can drive your cranky boss crazy by smiling beatifically at him every time you see him. (Smiling really lifts your spirits, too.) Put something on your desk that makes you happy, and look at it often.

Enjoy what you are doing everything that you do. When you sneeze, really get into it! When you have to do laundry, sing along with the washing machine, recognizing that by caring for your clothes, you are caring for yourself. When you realize youve run out of milk and have to dash out late at night, smile at everyone you meet and strike up a conversation with people at the checkout line.

Having fun doesnt mean you no longer dislike your job, your financial problems, or fighting with your teenager. And it doesnt mean youre giving up on trying to find solutions for your problems. It does mean youre refusing to let your problems have power over your entire state of mind. And it does mean youre choosing to enjoy yourself which means youre that much more likely to find solutions to your problems instead of just suffering.

I challenge you to find six wacky, delightful ways to HAVE FUN and then do them!

I never did a days work in my life. It was all fun. Thomas A. Edison, American inventor and businessman, 1847 - 1931

(c)Grace L. Judson

Helping professionals who feel trapped and want a sense of direction

About the Author

Grace Judson is the founder of and driving force behind Svaha Concepts.

Stuck in a "success plateau" and having a hard time figuring out reasons to get out of bed in the morning? For more information or to access my free resources (including my free newsletter), be sure to visit Svaha Concepts' website.