All relationships are build on both giving and receiving. To really have a wonderful relationship in marriage, care and attention needs to be focus on a few key issues. We all need to learn skills in order to deal with a few areas that can go wrong from time to time.
Here are 3 areas that need attention.

1. Communication. The foundation to any relationship.
Most troubles in a relationship start by misunderstandings through lack of or poor communication in both receiving and transmitting. It is not what is said but how it is heard or received. Huge problems in most relationships are caused through misunderstanding.

a. A conversation is said to be 80% verbal and 20% non verbal communication. Your body language can say a thousand words so be careful what your body is saying to your spouse. Your words may be saying one thing but your body is revealing something else.

b. Learn to listen, really listen to what the other person is saying and ask questions to clarify their position on the subject so no presumptions are made in error.

c. When sharing information with your partner make sure that they are in a position to focus on what is being said. Get their full attention first, this is basic but this can cause problems. Its a skill that can be learnt.

2. Taking Responsibility for your part in any break down in your relationship.
During arguments that will occur, emotions will run high. When emotions are running high, common sense and rat ionization seem to go out the door making a bad situation even worse. Realize this, you will not get your partner to change, you have to make a decision to change your attitude first.

Remember "It takes two to tango". If you don't tango, the argument ends. You need to say sorry for your behaviour and change it, this means there can be no room for further accusations against you. This will effectively disarm your partners argument, lower the emotional level, enabling a make up. This is not easy to do, just make a decision to do it and stop going around in pointless circles

3. One of the biggest dangers in any relationship are the words " I don't care ". That attitude is a killer. For any relationship to work you have to care. Remember who you fell in love with and why. Focus on those loving memories and beautiful traits about your partner, those wonderful times you spent together. Remember those vows you made, to love and to cherish until death do us part. Very few second marriages ever survive, so make the most of this one. Do not run from your problems, face them, find a solution and fix it.

Having read to here means that you are committed to learn, understand and improve your relationship. This is a vital step, well done and good luck.

Wiseman.
For further information on mending relationships go to;
http://www.themagicofmakingupsite.com

Dedicated to my ex-girlfriend revenge and loving partner for 27 years **Christina Saunders**
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